SAN ANGELO, Texas — "I just don't know what they want!"
How many times do you hear that before Valentine's Day?
It can actually be pretty easy to figure out what your significant other wants, according to relationship counselor Ben Hubert.
"We often express love in the ways that we want to receive love. How does your lover express love to you? " he said.
The ways people prefer to receive love and appreciation have been categorized into the "Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, PhD. He wrote "The 5 Love Languages" series, which has sold more than 12 million copies, according to his website.
The five languages are:
1. Words of affirmation
3. Acts of service
4. Quality time
5. Physical touch
"Pay attention to how your partner expresses love and appreciation for you. Write it down. Remember it," he said.
"Does he or she give gifts? Do they give words of affirmation? Acts of kindness?" he questioned.
For words of affirmation, Hubert suggested phrases of gratitude:
1. "You really are such a great mother."
2. "I love spending time with you."
3. "You are such a good friend to others."
Gifts and acts of service aren't supposed to be just any gift or service, either. The key to satisfying partners with those love languages is to be thoughtful. What did you get/do for your partner when they weren't around? Maybe you fixed that door handle that's been driving her nuts. Maybe you ordered that pair of shoes that he talked about last month.
If you can identify your partner's love language - and then mirror it back to them - you'll be all set, according to Hubert.